Dreams can be deceiving, can’t they? Last night, I found myself in a dream where he was there, smiling and looking at me with that familiar warmth. It felt as if he never left, but the harsh reality hit – it’s been two weeks since he walked out of my life.
“I’m comfortable being in my masculine energy with you.” I remember this exact phrase because he said this on my birthday so it’s impossible for me to just forget the moment as well. A compliment that felt like receiving a badge of honor, a rare achievement I treasured. His masculine energy became my fortress, allowing me to fully embrace my feminine side. A side I kept tucked away because, let’s face it, being strong was my default mode.
His actions spoke louder than words, creating a symphony of gestures that resonated with warmth and affection. His sweetness manifested in the little things – an unexpected compliment that brightened my day or a thoughtful gesture that showed he was attuned to my needs. It was as if he had a unique way of understanding the language of my heart, translating it into acts of kindness that left a mark on my mind.
In the intricate dance of our connection, it’s like this little tug of war – I’m always cheering for him, totally sure of his skills and awesomeness, even when he’s got those moments of doubting himself. While he might be second-guessing his own abilities, I’m over here thinking he’s got this secret stash of talents waiting to be discovered. It’s a bit like being a cheerleader, you know? When he’s in doubt mode, I’m the one saying, “You’ve got it, buddy!” It’s not just me being blindly optimistic; it’s about me seeing the awesome person he is, hoping he starts seeing it too.
Those awesome times with him really stand out because of our real connection. No matter what hassles or annoyances came my way, he was always there to hear me out. He’s not just good at listening; he gets the nitty-gritty of what’s going on in my head and heart, creating a comfy zone where I know he truly gets me. What’s cool about him is it’s not just about hearing me vent; he’s like a solution wizard afterward. It’s not just emotional support; it’s a deep understanding of what I need, and a promise to tackle life’s tricky stuff together. The way he smoothly switches from listening buddy to problem-solving sidekick adds this extra awesome layer to our connection, making those open-heart moments a big part of our shared adventure.
Our shared intimacy, a harmonious dance of emotions and connection. It’s so special that comparing it to anything else just doesn’t do it justice. Even the simple stuff, things that might seem regular to someone looking in, turn into something amazing when it’s us doing it together. He has this way of making every moment feel like it’s the absolute best. The idea of sharing such intimacy with anyone else seems almost inconceivable, for with him, it was as if the universe aligned, creating a perfect symphony of emotions and desires.
In moments of introspection, I’ve come to realize that I might not fit the mold of his dream girl, nor am I the archetype he initially envisioned. I’m not his predetermined type, and yet, there’s a beauty in the fact that our connection transcends such boundaries. The understanding that he took a chance on our relationship, despite not having a predefined image of me in his mind, makes every shared experience feel like a stroke of luck. Knowing I wasn’t his expected choice adds an element of surprise and appreciation to our story. Every moment we share feels like winning the jackpot because I wasn’t what he expected. It adds a nice twist to our story, making me feel special. It’s like, “Hey, I might not be your usual pick, but here we are, making our own unique journey.” And in that, I find a special kind of happiness, feeling like the luckiest and happiest girl because he chose to dive into this adventure with me, breaking free from expectations and letting love happen naturally.
While I once stumbled upon a notion suggesting that for a relationship to flourish, a man must love the woman more, as she can learn to love him even if he’s not her envisioned type, I’ve chosen to respectfully challenge that perspective. I believe love is a dynamic force that transcends conventional expectations. The idea that a man can only love a woman fully if she aligns with his dreams didn’t resonate with me. In my view, love is not a one-way street but rather a shared journey where both partners contribute to the strength and resilience of the connection. Choosing to love deeply, regardless of preconceived notions, creates a foundation where understanding, support, and unwavering commitment can thrive. A woman who loves her man wholeheartedly holds a powerful space for him – a sanctuary where he can find solace and refuge when the world seems rough. This counter-narrative speaks to the strength and beauty inherent in a love that defies societal norms, celebrating the unique strengths each partner brings to the relationship.
Despite the warmth and affection he showed me, it’s important to acknowledge that his past wasn’t without its complexities. I learned that his ex had labeled him a chronic liar. The weight of those words could have cast a pall over my perception of him, but I couldn’t bring myself to entertain such notions. In the time we spent together, I saw a different side of him – one that was sincere, caring, and genuine. People change, circumstances evolve, and I chose to view him through the lens of our experiences rather than through the judgments of the past. The complexities of human relationships are nuanced, and I believed in the potential for growth and transformation. Thus, I held onto the belief that our shared moments were an authentic reflection of the person he had become.
Summoning courage, I finally told my bestie about what happened with me and him. Usually the queen of tough love, she surprised me by morphing into a pillar of support, her words dripping with an unexpected softness. It was like entering a parallel universe where her usual critiques took a backseat.
The friend who typically urged me to cut ties and move on was now contemplating the possibility of a return. It left me in a mix of emotions, wrestling with closure and the potential for a reopened chapter. She’s not in the wrong, she just knew me too well since college with all my history of romantic relationships. Gone were the familiar refrains of “Good for you for ending the relationship” or “I always knew he’s not good for you.” Instead, she led with a genuine, “Are you okay? How are you holding up?” I managed to keep my composure, but the question lingered in the air.
I was wondering why her tone was so different this time around. I realized it might be because I confessed that, for the first time, I felt treated right and cherished as a woman. The safety and security I felt around him were experiences foreign to me, and she knew that.
“What if he comes back?” she dropped a bombshell, not the typical reaction I’d anticipate. “Not now, but maybe in six months or a year – with certainty this time.” It was a curveball that shattered the closure I’d been desperately trying to achieve.
Her question prompted me to lay my cards on the table, admitting, “I don’t think he’s gonna come back. He made it clear he’s out of my life, and we haven’t spoken since that day. I’ve never seen him so sure. So, do I wish for him to come back? Yes. But reality is, he’s gone now.”
And now, in this moment, I’m surrendering him back to the Universe – the same Universe that once orchestrated our meeting and allowed us to share some of the best times. I trust the cosmic dance, believing that if we have another chance, the Universe will align our paths once more.